All my life I knew I would have children.
When the time came, I took the birthing
classes, studied the manuals diligently, and knew just what to expect
during labor and delivery. But I was totally unprepared for
everything that happened after I came home from the hospital.
Even though I’d read books, and talked
with a lot of people – including my own mother – somehow I figured I
would pretty much be the same old me, doing the same old stuff, just add
kids. Boy was I wrong. And surprised! I barely remember the “same old
me” and have no time to entertain any of the “same old stuff” anymore.
My life changed overnight.
There just isn’t any way to know in
advance what it’s going to be like, and I doubt that it would matter if
you’ve taken care of other people’s children (which I hadn’t) – the
operative words here being “other people’s.”
I felt so alone because most of my friends
didn't want to talk about identity crises, juggling business
responsibilities, their insecurities, or anything other than poop and
“has he said ‘dada’ yet?” “But…” I wondered. “What about all the
nitty-gritty hard parts of becoming a mother?” Surely I wasn’t the only
one who felt like I did!
So I started writing. And it came to pass
that I wrote this book. Some of it is culled from my journals, some is
derived from conversations with close friends, and much of it originated
from conversations or experiences with my older two sons.
It evolved during the course of many
years, written and compiled and rearranged in fits and starts – whenever
I could squeeze out a few moments to myself (often in the middle of the
night) and wherever I could jot down ideas (usually on my laptop, but
sometimes on whatever paper I could find).
Writing the book was my method of making
sense of my intense period of personal, professional, emotional,
spiritual, and of course, physical change. My MotherMorphosis®.
Publishing it is my means of reaching out and touching other moms’
lives, inspiring them, and connecting with them.
My ultimate goal is to honor and validate
the delicate balancing act that mothers perform on a daily basis, the
personal and professional sacrifices we make, and at the same time, the
gratitude we feel for the tremendous gift we have received by having
children.
My children are my “why.” They are the
reason I get up in the morning (sometimes too early)…the reason I go to
work every day…the reason I do almost everything I do. They are my
motivation, my inspiration, and my revelation: it is because of my
children that I know the true love of God – I imagine the love I have
for them is just like the love that God has – and my own parents have –
for me. Thank you, God.
