Bedtime Stories for Electronic Media Junkies

“You should check out the book table!” someone suggested at a church fair once.

“Oh, no, no, no…we already have more books than we know what to do with.”

“You can never have too many books!” she said in the scornful tone reserved for only the most severe parenting faux pas.

“Well, we do,” I sang with a forced smile, and ushered the kids in a different direction. I didn’t bother to explain that in addition to two full bookcases in the boys’ rooms, one in the downstairs hallway, and the preschool books in abeyance in plastic tubs, I have boxes and boxes of my childhood books stored in the attic because my older kids are not interested in “boring old books” (to which many of us would refer as “classics”) and I don’t yet trust my youngest not to color in them. So why I need more than the couple hundred children’s books we have is beyond me.

And why my big kids aren’t more into books is beyond me, too. I read in front of them; I leave books, magazines, and newspapers in noticeable places; we often have stories at the dinner table (where I have a captive audience – for five minutes or so, anyway).

“But Mah-ahhhhm! We wanna watch a show!”

I wonder if I could rig up a treadmill to the TV so the kids could generate the power to run it themselves.

If it’s not the TV, it’s a Gameboy. Little electronic toys (with volume control) are good for ensuring compliance in the car, but more often than not I could beat a drum next to the kids and they wouldn’t be able to tear their eyes off Mario and Luigi. I have caught my oldest with his Gameboy under the covers after lights out, and have even heard the telltale blips and beeps coming from the bathroom.

When I went to the public library as a child, it was to check out books – not videos – and not to play computer games or go to the playground. They didn’t have videos, computers, or a playground at my library when I was a kid (but there were such things as airplanes, cars, and electricity, I assure my kids). Fortunately they do come home with books from their school library.

One night after bath, my five-year-old asked me, “Can we watch a show?”

“Let’s read your library book instead.” There has been more than one morning when “it’s library day already?” and we’re scurrying around looking for the unread book to return.

“Awwwww. Darn it!”

“Oh, c’mon, boys, let’s have a look. Ten minutes.” 

“Oh…all right...”

“I’ll set the timer!”

I did different voices for all the characters and kept up a good pace so they wouldn’t simply be counting down the minutes. To their credit, once we got started, they were engaged – jockeying for position and interrupting each other or me to make a point…

…until the timer went off. I finished the last page in double time.

“The …”

“Mommy, can we watch a show now!?”

“…end.”