Brotherly Love

"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill."

~ Matthew 5:21-22 The Message Bible

There has been a lot of discord in our home lately between my two older boys. Well, who am I kidding, “lately.” There always is – they’re so close in age – they have one of those sibling love-hate relationships where they’ll turn on me if I try to defend one or the other of them from whoever’s the aggressor of the moment. “Don’t put my brother in time-out!” one of them will say, even though he might’ve been said brother’s punching bag mere moments before.

Then there’s the friction between the big boys and the youngest. “You like him better. You do more for him.” They forget that I changed their diapers and carried them around when they were younger, too.

One day the boys were fighting about who got to sit where on the couch. We have two couches, either of which are ample size to fit all three boys. But it seems that both big boys wanted to sit right where the youngest had been sitting, and while one of them convinced him to move over, the other snuck in and took the spot. The older two were tussling while the youngest was squawking.

I had become so weary of the constant bickering – the name calling, the shoving, kicking, and whacking with real or pretend weapons, and finally the threats of “I’m gonna kill you.” Or “you’re dead!” I have told the boys that kind of behavior and talk is unacceptable in our home. But they were at the stage in between ignorance and prevention, where they use the language anyway, followed by “sorry…hee hee hee.” (Their explanation for their physical conflict is “we’re just playing!,” which is fine until someone gets hurt…)

I said to them, “Boys! Do you know the story about Abel and Cain!”

“Yes, Cain killed Abel,” my oldest said.

“Cain was jealous of Abel. Cain thought God loved Abel more,” his brother added.

“Right,” I said. “How do you think Cain felt after he did that?”

“I think felt really bad.”

“Yeah!”

“How would you feel if you did that?”

“I’d feel really bad.”

“Yeah. Me, too.”

“How do you think Abel and Cain’s mommy felt when that happened?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yeah! We don’t know.”

“I bet she felt really awful. I know, because that is how I feel when I see you guys fighting with each other or picking on the baby.” (The poor little guy frequently ducks for cover when either of the older two passes by.”)

“I don’t want to hear you joking about killing each other! In fact, I don’t even want you to call each other names anymore. That’s practically just as bad.”

I had their attention, but they were smirking.

I continued, “I’m not kidding. Do you think God loved either one of those boys more than the other?”

“No, God loves us all just the same.”

“Yeah! God loves us all the same.”

Yesssssss! I thought to myself, but just said, “Amen!”

The older two looked at my quizzically, since that’s usually a prayer word.

The youngest perked up. “Ah, meh!” he added enthusiastically.